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HOW DO YOU CREATE YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES?  This is a great question.  Creating boundaries and limitations in life is hard!  How can we state them, if we don't know them.  I suggest writing them down as you find and discover them.  We, as individuals, have to know and be well aware of what we are willing to accept from people.  Some behavior is just not acceptable to me.  One of the things that is at the top of my list is that I will not let myself be defined by someone else's opinion of me.  This is a hard one.  If I do not know this boundary and limitation for myself, others will not know either.  Sometimes, Folks know and just don't care.  That is when I have to ask myself, "Am I doing the next right thing?  How does my Higher Power feel about what I am doing?"  If I know that it is next right thing, and that my Higher Power would not be disappointed in me, then I should not let the other persons opinion vary my own view of self...or My Gods.  In meetings, at the end, a lot of us read The Promises from the big book pages 83 and 84.  There is a sentence just before the beginning of the reading that is not included, but is listed in the book on page 83.  It says, "As God's people we stand on our feet;  we don't crawl before anyone."  This is boundary for me.  This tells me that I am important to God (my Higher Power as I understand Him), what I do is important to him.  Think for yourself, "What am I not willing to take from someone?"  Write those answers down, and you have your beginning.  Ask your sponsor to help, if you desire.  Either way, know and set clearly your boundaries and limitations to others.  I believe that along with Acceptance, Boundaries and Limitations clearly stated are directly proportional to my serenity. 

Examples of Boundaries

The 10 Demandments - We must be careful not to put too many expectations on another human being in our life also.

Boundaries and Limitations that Could get you in trouble. 

Consider these Causes of The Heart when creating Boundaries and Limitations for Yourself.

SETTING YOUR BOUNDARIES AND LIMITATIONS AS A SPONSOR:  Everyone has boundaries and limitations!  As a sponsor, we should lay these out right off the bat!  Let the sponsee know what you will and won't and can and can't do.  I am a pretty smart ole gal myself, but I need them stated to me so that I understand and make clear a way for good personal relationships.  Go over the 12 Steps Of A Sponsor with them.  Let them know that it is your job to share you experience, strength and hope with them.  It is your job to encourage them to take the action required in the steps.  They have to meet you half way.  I tell me girls right off the bat that they have to talk to me a number of times a week, and attend at least one meeting a week with me.  Let your lines be clear!  This will make the relationship a little easier and calling somebody on their stuff a lot easier at times. 

 

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This website is not intended to replace a sponsor, but rather to aide you and your sponsor in recovery.  This is just a way to start working the steps, and share in someone else's experience, strength and hope. 

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This Website was last updated on:  June 17, 2008

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    Disclaimer: This site is NOT endorsed nor sponsored by Alcoholics Anonymous or any group and is not intended to offer specific advice to persons in recovery or contemplating recovery. This site DOES, however, attempt to follow the 12 Traditions of AA. Contact your local Alcoholics Anonymous Intergroup Office for direct info on AA, for info on meetings in your area, and if you'd like to speak with someone regarding alcoholism. This site is produced in the spirit of AA's Twelfth Step - to carry the message. When reading the experience, strength and hope on this site, we remind you that AA's "public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films."