Characteristics of Codependency
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Following is a commonly used list of characteristics of codependency.
- My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
- My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
- Your struggle affects my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving
your problems/relieving your pain.
- My mental attention is focused on you.
- My mental attention is focused on protecting you.
- My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to do it my way.
- My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.
- My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.
- My own hobbies/interests are put to one side. My time is spent sharing
- Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires and I
feel you are a reflection of me.
- Your behavior is dictated by my desires and I feel you are a reflection
- I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel.
- I am not aware of what I want - I ask what you want. I am not aware - I
assume the dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
- My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
- My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
- I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
- My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
- I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
- I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
- The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.
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June 17, 2008
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