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How do we find a sponsor?  I was told to pick a sponsor who has what I want.  I was also told to pick a sponsor that has a sponsor so that they know how it is done and have some guidance of their own.  It is a good idea to pick someone with at least one year of sobriety, so that they have some experience with different issues.  It is also a good idea to pick someone who has made their way through the 12 steps already.  Sharing their experience, strength and hope should be a little easier then and there is less chance you will pass them up soon.  Of course, you want to pick a sponsor that you think you can relate to.  I do recommend getting a sponsor as soon as possible, though. 

In looking for a sponsor, we have to be willing to be honest with ourselves and our sponsors to the best of our ability.  We should be willing to work our way through the 12 steps.  I mean...the job of a sponsor is to walk us through the 12 steps and help us achieve some serenity and peace in our life, if possible.  Why would we lie?  I did!  It was instant reaction on some cases, some times.  But, I grew and I tried to always stay as honest as I could force myself to be.  I grew and the honesty thing got a whole lot better!  I formed a bond with my sponsors that can never be broke.  Each served a purpose and helped me tremendously in my life...alive, out there, moved, or dead, they all helped!  They wouldn't have helped, if I wouldn't have been willing to work on my issues, do the steps, take action, and form some sort of a bond with each one.  This meant I had to talk to my sponsors, I had to attend meetings to them, and I had to listen their suggestions.  I didn't have to do them all, but I did have to be honest about the fact that I was not going to.  I had to remember, the focus was on recovery! 

Typically, we say, "Men with men and Women with women, with the exception of gay or lesbians."  This keeps it safe and keeps spouses from getting angry or jealous.  It also keeps us from getting side tracked along the way.   It often helps if you are single to see if you can find a single sponsor, so they can share experiences with you about that.  This is not, however a must! 

Branch out a little, if you have to.  Go to new meetings, and check out new people.  Listen to their stories and go out to coffee, if you like.  It is OK to pick a Temporary Sponsor at first, if you have to.  This is someone to get you started, and you can pick another sponsor whenever you choose. Of course, if things don't work out with any sponsor, you can pick another sponsor, too.  No one is forcing you to do anything.   

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How persistently we claim the right to decide all by ourselves just what we shall think and just how we shall act. well does it actually work?
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, William Wilson, page 37.


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History of Sponsors ] What is A Sponsor ] Sponsor's Purpose ] Who To Pick ] [ Finding A Sponsor ] Being Honest ] I Am Me ] Mentor/Friend ] Just Ask ] Sponsor/Therapist ]

This website is not intended to replace a sponsor, but rather to aide you and your sponsor in recovery.  This is just a way to start working the steps, and share in someone else's experience, strength and hope.  

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This Website was last updated on:  July 06, 2008

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    Disclaimer: This site is NOT endorsed nor sponsored by Alcoholics Anonymous or any group and is not intended to offer specific advice to persons in recovery or contemplating recovery. This site DOES, however, attempt to follow the 12 Traditions of AA. Contact your local Alcoholics Anonymous Intergroup Office for direct info on AA, for info on meetings in your area, and if you'd like to speak with someone regarding alcoholism. This site is produced in the spirit of AA's Twelfth Step - to carry the message. When reading the experience, strength and hope on this site, we remind you that AA's "public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films."