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                                 Five Ways To Handle Anger Constructively

               How Can I do It?

As an adult, I can choose to express my anger appropriately.

I can say I don’t like what is being done.

I can write an angry letter.

I can forgive him or her for being imperfect.

I can consider the source and let go or give up anger.

Five ways to handle anger:

1)      Recognize that you are angry.  Mentally healthy people are not without anger.  They are people who express their anger constructively.  Emotionally disturbed people are not people with too much anger but they express it in a destructive way.  (They collect stamps)

2)      Purify motives.  Ask yourself your main purpose of communication of anger.  If we are interested only in getting back rather than remaining an obstacle to mutual need and fulfillment there can be only negative results.

3)      Discuss the Real issue.

4)      Express your anger constructively.  Constructive is, “I care for too much about our relationship not to share with you how and what I’m felling.  We’re both good people, lets resolve this in a positive way.  Handled this way, one stamp at a time, anger is no longer something frightening, but a tool for growth.

 Have a Showdown before sundown with your anger!!!


 Quietly observe yourself and how many anger stamps you collect this week. 

 Consider situations or relationships where anger is getting in the way of a friendship.

 Experiment with sharing anger and indicate results.

Big Book Reference:  Anger Pages:  5, 39, 56, 58, 98, 113, 153, 179, 184, 268, 285, 309, 320.

Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order.
--Maggie Scarf

Anger can multiply our difficulties in many situations. All of us can look back and remember times when we only made our problems worse because we stepped on the gas and lost all ability to use the brakes. Now we are learning to manage our feelings and use them well. This doesn't happen overnight. We would do well to recall how energized we have felt when we let our anger fly and how much we loved that energy at the moment. Only later did we face the damage we caused. Saying we are sorry isn't enough -- we must also be willing to take on the harder task of changing our behavior. When we accept that we love the power and the energy of our anger and aggression, we can begin to rein it in and take charge of it rather than be ruled by it. Today I will not indulge in the pleasure of anger allowed to run wild.

You are reading from the book:
Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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This Website was last updated on:  June 16, 2008

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