free
hit counter

 

 

Home ] Sponsors Aides ] Sponsorship Topics ] Recovery Retreats ] Big Book Aides ] StepWork ] Spiritual Aides ] Prayers ] For The Slipper ] Tools ] Downloads ] Recovery Voices ] SlowGuns ] 12 Step History ] 12 Step Programs ] All The 12's ] Affirmations ] Poems ] Quizzes ] Sober Giggles ] Help ] Links ] Awards ] Resources ] Donations ] Contact Us ]

                                 Five Ways To Handle Anger Constructively

               How Can I do It?

As an adult, I can choose to express my anger appropriately.

I can say I don’t like what is being done.

I can write an angry letter.

I can forgive him or her for being imperfect.

I can consider the source and let go or give up anger.

Five ways to handle anger:

1)      Recognize that you are angry.  Mentally healthy people are not without anger.  They are people who express their anger constructively.  Emotionally disturbed people are not people with too much anger but they express it in a destructive way.  (They collect stamps)

2)      Purify motives.  Ask yourself your main purpose of communication of anger.  If we are interested only in getting back rather than remaining an obstacle to mutual need and fulfillment there can be only negative results.

3)      Discuss the Real issue.

4)      Express your anger constructively.  Constructive is, “I care for too much about our relationship not to share with you how and what I’m felling.  We’re both good people, lets resolve this in a positive way.  Handled this way, one stamp at a time, anger is no longer something frightening, but a tool for growth.

 Have a Showdown before sundown with your anger!!!

 Homework:

 Quietly observe yourself and how many anger stamps you collect this week. 

 Consider situations or relationships where anger is getting in the way of a friendship.

 Experiment with sharing anger and indicate results.

Big Book Reference:  Anger Pages:  5, 39, 56, 58, 98, 113, 153, 179, 184, 268, 285, 309, 320.

Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order.
--Maggie Scarf


Anger can multiply our difficulties in many situations. All of us can look back and remember times when we only made our problems worse because we stepped on the gas and lost all ability to use the brakes. Now we are learning to manage our feelings and use them well. This doesn't happen overnight. We would do well to recall how energized we have felt when we let our anger fly and how much we loved that energy at the moment. Only later did we face the damage we caused. Saying we are sorry isn't enough -- we must also be willing to take on the harder task of changing our behavior. When we accept that we love the power and the energy of our anger and aggression, we can begin to rein it in and take charge of it rather than be ruled by it. Today I will not indulge in the pleasure of anger allowed to run wild.
 

You are reading from the book:
Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

Need More Tools?  Click A Desired Topic Below:

AshTray Change ] Alcohol Presence ] Temptation ] Staying Clean Tips ] Talk About It ] Thoughts ] 90 Tools of Sobriety ] 90 Tools for OA ] Carrots ] [ Handling Anger ] About Resentment ] Stress Reduction ] Find Your Passions ] Self Help Articles ] 10 Demandments ]

This website is not intended to replace a sponsor, but rather to aide you and your sponsor in recovery.  This is just a way to start working the steps, and share in someone else's experience, strength and hope.

Click on the Email Picture above to email me.

This Website was last updated on:  June 16, 2008

Unofficial AA logo

    Disclaimer: This site is NOT endorsed nor sponsored by Alcoholics Anonymous or any group and is not intended to offer specific advice to persons in recovery or contemplating recovery. This site DOES, however, attempt to follow the 12 Traditions of AA. Contact your local Alcoholics Anonymous Intergroup Office for direct info on AA, for info on meetings in your area, and if you'd like to speak with someone regarding alcoholism. This site is produced in the spirit of AA's Twelfth Step - to carry the message. When reading the experience, strength and hope on this site, we remind you that AA's "public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films."